Mrs E is born

8th May 2008

The day I picked up my camera.
It was a beautiful Spring morning and I was taking my girl to nursery with the baby in the buggy. As we stepped out of the door, I spotted some packaging propped up against the railings in my road. I suddenly thought of my camera, still in my bag from the weekend outing, I took it out and click, the first picture:


Having dropped off the little one, I carried on with my stroll. A beautiful morning, and there, at the bottom of the street my daughters nursery is on, this charming ensemble:



A friend spotted me and stopped to congratulate me on my tirade on the local website. As we surveyed the scene, a woman helpfully added a can of beer to the pile, at 9.30 in the morning.

I carried on, snapping pictures, coming across these in the next street:



Getting home I obviously reported all I had seen but I needed to do more so I uploaded the pictures to Flickr and the Harringay housewife's new campaigning alter ego was born,
Mrs E was going to have her say.

A filthy bank holiday

The beginning of May
The bank holiday prompted me to pen a furious tirade on the local website, Harringay Online.
I was very cross indeed as I had just spent a beautiful day at Springfield park and Walthamstow Marshes


Here is what I wrote, as well as writing emails to everyone I could think of to complain,
"Taking advantage of the lovely weather to get out with the family, I am appalled at the disgusting state of Green Lanes. There is litter everywhere including broken glass and old nappies and the litter bins are overflowing, not to mention all the commercial waste that is piled up. The surrounding streets aren't much better as there is litter, beer cans and dog mess all over them and the Passage clearly was not cleaned last Friday (which I have already complained about). I am sick of wading through filth with my children and it is time that our streets are cleaned properly. And blaming the Bank Holiday is not good enough, it is only one day and the accumulated filth that is on the streets has been there for days. It seems that Accord have given themselves a nice long weekend to the detriment of the community."

I had my camera in my bag but, tired and with kids, we just made our way home.

Yet, it kept on bothering me. Maybe it was not enough to just report litter, fly tipping and all. Maybe it was time to take action.

A little more history. My first assignment.

Mid April.
My first month as a Community Volunteer
At first I found little to report then glancing out of the window one morning, I was astonished to find that a mattress had appeared leaning against the wall of the house opposite. Good heavens, how had that got there? I had only just passed on my way back from the nursery. These flytippers have cloaks of invisibility! Pushing aside a very uncharitable thought thought that the smartly dressed young people who share the house may have slipped it over the wall (no surely not), I then had to decide how to go about my first real assignment...how to report.
And here I must admit I fell for the anonymous charm of the wonderfully transactional Haringey Council website and used an eform. I just didn't feel up to the cheeriness of a phone call that day. A day later, a lovely lady from the council phoned and assured me that the mattress would be spirited away by the Accord angels...which it presently was. On a roll now, I promptly reported the computer monitor that appeared, closely followed by the bookcase that was so thoughtfully left across the pavement one dark and rainy night.
Using my powers of detection, I surmised that perhaps a student had recently been doing a bit of spring cleaning and had to throw out that old Argos bookcase for the new Ikea Billy that holds so much more.
What a good thing that the old busybody at the end will just ring up the council and save you the hassle of sorting out your own rubbish. In fact, you are doing me a good turn. I literally have nothing better to do, so it keeps me out of mischief.

A little history.

A little history...cast your mind back to the distant chilly mornings of early March.

Looking like Cherie Blair in that famous morning after photo, I open the door to the postman. Seeing what he held out, I respond with such enthusiasm that, had Mr E not been standing in the hall, the postie may have thought he was onto a good thing. I imagine that he has rarely witnessed such a joyous reaction to a brown envelope from Haringey Council.
Ripping open the envelope I withdraw my large black zip up folder, emblazoned with Haringey Community Volunteers. Mr E inquires none too politely what I amholding and when I tellhim goes off, muttering something about 'Taxpayers money'. I ignore him and carry my prize into the living room.
Contents first: A personalised letter signed by DR promising newsletters and socials with refreshments. Marvellous! Green pencil, made from recycled CD cases...all those Jason Donovan CDs put to good use...and a pen from recycled car parts...cars into pens now that is civilized! A lovely little policeman style notebook and pen (recycled leather, of course)...already I imagine myself writing notes while prowling the Passage...that's if nipperette doesn't find it and write endless love notes to Tommy Zoom in it.
Oh look, a lovely pad of lined paper for my angry outpourings and winsome flights of fancy about taking coffee on the Grand Parade while watching the fine folk of Harringay, young and old, rich or poor parading in their finery on a summer's eve...look there's Matt whizzing past on his bike... er hmm sorry back to my lovely folder.
I open the first insert and there is Councillor Haley welcoming me. What a lovely picture, you know, the one with the puppy dog eyes and the 'you can trust me' expression. I strongly suspect the signature is a printed one which will make this page worthless on ebay. What a swizz.

I am now a Community Volunteer. A little shiver of excitement...what great truths will be unveiled from within thatzip up black leather interior.
I open up the folder...

Who are Haringey's Community Volunteers? 'Gasp' not a special shirt between 'em. Also note that the three people who appear to be under 45 in the photo are being made to stand at the back...

Quickly move on to section 2, How do Community Volunteers get things done? Ah this is better, funky young things on the computer and phone or scribbling stuff in their notebooks.
Now, the phone numbers...it would, of course, be more than my life is worth to divulge those numbers, I'm afraid, suffice to say, they are not the same as the ordinary folk have..only I have the hotline to the ear of Streetscene to report those blocked drains and potholes.

Hmm, now this is interesting. What I can expect from Council officers. To be treated politely, fairly and with respect. Answer letters and phone calls promptly, not keep me waiting without an explanation and keep appointments. Make it clear what they can and can't do, listen to me and seek my views, respond to enquiries. Lor' you mean that there is a chance I might get someone on an off day who will bellow down the phone, put me on hold for an hour then tell me they couldn't give a toss about my opinion. Well if that happens, I have a right to complain and someone will admit their mistake and put things right after a full investigation. Phew, that's all right then. It's a tough life being a Haringey officer. I make a mental promise to myself to have a sunny greeting on my lips and perhaps an inquiry after their general health when I ring.

It also says that I must not put myself in a position of confrontation with others...scribble out suggestion on my reply slip that we are issued with stun guns and loud hailers. 'PICK UP THE POO OR I WILL FIRE!'

But now I am ready for you, litterbugs and the flytippers. I have my notebook, my recycled pen and my list of contacts. Bring it on.